he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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