You work out of a Hotel?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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