I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
