please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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