I'm eating all of the evidence.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
either way he was missing a nipple.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
