Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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