Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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