Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
