yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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