What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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