hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
