sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
