She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
