Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
