Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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