There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
