K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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