Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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