I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
