I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize