so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
