He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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