Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
