She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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