please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
