I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
