from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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