so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
