In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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