Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She needs sedatives and a leash
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
