ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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