so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
