meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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