and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
