his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
