girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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