im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
