How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
