oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
