there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
