Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
