So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
