dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
