Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
