my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
