hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
