mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
