Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
