Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
