cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
did i walk over a car last night?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
